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A Possibly Interesting Conflict Over an Imperial Sausage

April 25, 2012

I have just heard on BBC International, so I suppose I can expect it is not just a rumor, that the Republic of Slovenia has recently been engaged in a food fight with the Republic of Austria with throwing around legal terms around a presumably delightfully tasting sausage, named by the Slovenians Krainer Wurst, and by the Austrians Kaesekrainer.

It seems that the Republic of Slovenia is seeking “protected geographical indication status” for this “krainer” type of sausage, claiming it is a traditional Slovenian one, being traditionally produced in the Northern Slovenian region since the times of the waning days of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, while the Austrians are indignantly claiming that this type of “krainer”-containing sausage not only MEANS a different kind of sausage, because theirs contains cheese, while the Slovenians’ does not, (containing only minced meat and garlic), but even the NAME itself of this sausage is THEIRS to claim if anyone should claim it. And being faced with this NEW claim in their likely already overflowing to the brim Claim Inbox tray, the EU has given them 6 months to try to resolve their differences by themselves, like any 6th grader should, or ELSE it may have to make a judicial ruling itself on this claim.

I have tried to find out what the heck does “krainer” mean, and I have found that there exists a region named once by the Italians, at the time of the Holy Roman Empire, Carniola, which was later named, at the time of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Kranjska, in Slovenian and Krain, in German. This region, which also has a capital-city named once Laibach, and now Ljubljana, is also divided in 3 sub-regions, Upper Carniola, Lower Carniola, and Inner Carniola…I have NO idea why this particular region seems to lack a visibly necessary Outer Carniola as well, and I feel actually somewhat bothered by this possible evidence of lack of suburban spirit.

AHA ! A social CLASS conflict accesible to my common run-of-the-mill marxist understanding emerges now, with the help of…who/what else, but Wikipedia ! It seems that in this particular region from the year 900 AD onwards until the dawn of the 20th century, when Mr. (serious, non-Groucho) Marx managed to explain what a Class Conflict is at the level of our common folk popular understanding, the language spoken by the Ruling Class of this region, most of them Aristocrats, later also most Urban folk, was German, while most of the Peasants from over there spoke Slovene, (NOT to be confused with Slovak, spoken about 150 miles, or about 250 km, to the North-East of there).

Since I do not particularly like long-term Brewing Conflicts, often preferring to offer other possibly conflicting people(s) the suggestion to “put it out/whip it out, eventually on a table, and getting over it ASAP”, to everyone’s satisfaction, (including, most certainly, my own), I have thought of a possibly useful suggestion for the EU contest-judges which may be puzzled as to how they might equitably resolve this claim. I suggest to them to first make up their minds in regards to promoting & implementing Affirmative Action as a temporary principial manner of policy or not, (inclusing for how long), then, according to this principle, deciding who gets satisfaction based on the average penis size of the inhabitants of those particular regions or countries, most recently, (about 4 months ago), having been publcly announced that the people residing in Slovenia have it on average 5.96 inches, (15,13 cm), long, while the inhabitants of Austria on average 5.58 inches, (14,16 cm), long, (or relatively short, according to one’s possibly length-as-quality seeking perspective).

(some other links to follow)

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